Green Fairies, Scotch, and Bathrooms?
by Kimchi Scone
Summary: Arthur stared at his boss in confusion. "..What? Y-you want to invite South Korea over for dinner? But why?" He glared at his boss, trying not to show too much agitation. "Who even cares about bloody South Korea anyways.."  NOT Korea x England. Crack!


Green Fairies, Scotch, and Bathrooms?

* * *

Arthur Kirkland stared at his boss in confusion. "..What? Y-you want to invite South Korea over for dinner? But why? I enjoy having no international relationships!" He glared at his boss, trying not to show too much agitation. "Who even cares about bloody South Korea anyways?"

His boss gave him a fierce look. "Believe it or not, South Korea actually has some influence in this world. So you're having a bloody fine dinner with him, and that's final."

Arthur frowned. "Fine, I'll go along with it!" He growled, and turned to leave his boss' office, hoping to get home to start preparing some dinner. What kind of things did Koreans like to eat? He had heard they liked things to be very spicy, so he would have to really search for something good. And some alcohol to go with it, of course.

* * *

Yong Soo blinked as he looked at his cell phone. Why on earth was England calling him? He shrugged, and picked the phone. "Hello? South Korea here."

"A-ah! South Korea!" England said into his cell phone; he wasn't really used to these, so he hoped he was doing everything okay. "I-I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place for dinner tonight? I, er, my boss wanted me to have you over because we c-could improve our international relations. So if you could come, that would be wonderful."

Yong Soo thought for a moment, then smiled. It was a good idea, he and England never really spoke. "Sounds good, da-ze! I'll be at your place around 6?"

"Alright then." Arthur said, pausing to make a mental note of the time. That left him with about two hours to make dinner and get everything ready.

"Oh...I was wondering, do you have anything you would prefer for dinner?"

Yong Soo froze dead in his tracks. He'd heard stories about Englands cooking from America...could it really be that bad? He didn't want to find out. "H-hmm... A-ah, how about we go to a popular.." What were bars called at his place again? "P-pub at your place, da-ze?"

"Okay, if you would like, that's perfectly more than fine by me," Arthur said, feeling more comfortable already; at least now he could meet Korea in a place he was comfortable with. "I know of just the place. Okay, we can meet at my house at 6 and then I can drive us there. Good bye then!"

"See you soon, da~ze!" Yong Soo hung up, and grinned. He'd get to test out his new car!

* * *

Arthur sat on his couch, drinking some tea and reading the newspaper; his guest would be arriving soon. Arthur was dressed casually, excited to get to his favorite pub. Well, he should be arriving soon...I'm very interested in talking to him, actually. I've never really gotten to talk with many of the Asian countries, other than Japan of course. I'll have to ask him about Japan tonight, see if they get along.

The man known as South Korea was currently speeding down the highway in his bright, shiny, new Hyundai. He smiled as he held the steering wheel causally, looking at himself in the rear view mirror. He admired his handsome reflection, forgetting to pay attention to the road in front of him and ignoring the alarming honks around him.

Yong Soo slammed on his breaks once he reached Arthur's driveway. He hopped out of his car, and ran up to the front door, looking around for the door bell. After spotting it, He pushed the button multiple times clearly unable to hold in his excitement. The feel of London was just so, different!

Arthur jumped at the sudden ringing at his front door, almost dropping his teacup. Bloody hell, I wish he had made a little more noise coming up the walk, he grumbled, standing to go and answer the door. As he opened the door however, he was startled by the overly enthusiastic dark haired boy on his doorstep.

"A-ah! Hello, you are South Korea, correct?" Arthur said, extending his hand in a gentlemanly way towards the boy. "I am Arthur Kirkland, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland...well, actually I'm just England, but I represent my brothers at world meetings as well. So you can just refer to me as the UK if you wish."

The Korean grinned and shook Arthur's hand vigorously. "Nice to meet you, Arthur-ssi!" He said, completely ignoring the name explanation. "I'm the Im Yong Soo, the Republic of Korea, or just South Korea! You can call me Yong Soo though, da-ze."

Arthur nodded and then stepped back from the doorway. "Alright, Y-Yong Soo. Please, come in! I'll just grab my keys and we can go." He headed into his kitchen and quickly grabbed his keys and a jacket, in case it was chilly outside.

Yong Soo stepped into Arthur's house. It was warm and pleasant with a comfortable feel to it. He looked over at Arthur, and saw him with a jacket on, and keys in hand.

Englishman gave the Korean a grin, the excitement in his eyes was clear as day.

"Alright then! Let's Pub and Go!"

* * *

Yong Soo stared at the pub. It looked like a pretty decent place he thought, as Arthur all but dragged him inside. The bar was filled with regulars sitting at booths and a few people at the bar. The bartender seemed like a soft hearted guy, a little chubby and in his mid-thirties. Arthur motioned him in the direction of the bar.

"You don't mind if we sit at the bar, do you Yong Soo?" Arthur said with a grin, sitting down on a bar stool and waving to the bartender.

"Nope, da-ze! I usually sit at the bar too." Yong Soo replied. He hasn't had beer or any kind of alcohol in a while, it'd be great to let loose and drink a bit.

"Great," Arthur said. "I'll take a Scotch, and my friend will take a..." He motioned his hand towards Yong Soo.

Yong Soo looked flustered as he skimmed through the menu. Nothing here was familiar... "A-ah, I'll take whatever he's getting!"

As the bartender nodded with a smile and leaned down to get two glasses and the drinks, Arthur turned to Yong Soo. "So, Yong Soo...I've never really gotten to know any of the Asian nations before, other than Japan. We...er...were once good friends. Are you friendly with Japan?"

The dark haired boy pursed his lips. He hadn't expected such a sensitive matter to be brought up so quickly. He cleared his throat. "Ah... I've had a bit of a... Rocky relationship with Japan, but it's gotten better since the end of World War II, da-ze." Yong Soo tried to change the subject quickly. "S-so, uh.. How's your economy been? Everyone's been a little bad, aha..."

Arthur's face darkened at the mention of World War II. "Ah...yes, the war..." He coughed, and then continued. "Well, yes, everyone's economy has been rather bad lately. Unfortunately, I'm rather, erm, connected to America's economy, which isn't so great for me. Not to mention the fact that Greece's economy is down the drain, which effects everyone in the European Union. That wanker France has been working his arse off trying to get Germany to pay for everything, but he won't. So I've not been to well lately, to tell you the truth. How about you?"

The Korean groaned. "Ehh, I've been better, da-ze. Technology's been great though, with the up-coming release of the 3-D TV and all." The mood quickly lightened up as the drinks arrived. "Oh, we forgot to order food, da-ze!" He turned to England. "Any recommendations?"

Arthur thought for a moment, and then pointed to one thing on the menu. "The fish and chips here are really delicious, and if you want to taste some English cuisine then I suggest you get those. I'm getting them, anyways." He took a sip of his drink and then glanced over at the Korean.

Korea nods. "Okay I'll try that, da-ze!" he thought for a second after agreeing. Fish? That's probably something like grilled mackrel... And chips, like the American Potato chips? He was puzzled, but decided to wait and see what it was like before freaking out.

"So tell me, Yong Soo, what is it that this curl does?" he asked, reaching over to tug on it.

Yong Soo stared at Arthur for a moment, a bit of a 'What on EARTH are you doing?' face on. When Arthur began to tug on it, he blushed a bright red. "N-nnh.. A-arthur-ssi, p-please S-Stop!"

Arthur's eyes widened, and then he let go, blushing. "Ah, so it's one of...those. I suppose I could have figured as much, considering the Italy brothers and...erm...never mind."

Yong Soo let out a breath of relief as Arthur let go of his ahoge. "I-its alright, da-ze!" He grinned and took a sip of the scotch. He winced. "W-woah, thats strong, da-ze!" he shook his head and asked. "Whats the alcohol percentage?"

Chuckling, Arthur tugged on his bangs and took a sip of his own drink. "I'm not sure, but it's about as high as vodka; it certainly gets the job done, if you know what I mean. So, if you don't mind me asking, what countries do you have a relationship with?"

Yong Soo grinned. "China hyung, da-ze! I'm his favorite sibling~" The dark haired boy continued. "I have good relations with America, Canada, and other countries like that. Japan and I have collaborated in a few Technological things, but nothing more." he took another sip, trying to get used to the drink.

"Oh, America and Canada huh?" he said, quickly finishing his drink and asking for another. "Don't you have a brother too? I mean, I heard you didn't get along very well with him, but...who ever does get along well with their brothers."

The alcohol was starting to warm up to him-and so were the side effects. "Hah! I do have a brother, and I know what you mean da-ze. Who can live with brothers? One moment they're all chummy, and then they try to nuke your ass of the pl-planet, da~ze!" Korea laughed, swigging the rest of the scotch in his cup.

Arthur smiled sadly, chugging down another scotch in seconds; there was now a very prominent blush across his face. "I-I'm bloody glad my idiot brother America d-didn't have nukes during th-the Rev...r-rev...revolution." He sighed and lay his head down on his arm on the top of the bar."Ooh, the food's h-here, da-ze!" He poked Arthur's head, trying to get him to start eating. "You have to eat something with alcohol, da-ze! You might get sick if you don't eat, Yong-guk ssi!"

Arthur flinched at Korea's touch, sitting up slowly. "A-ah...yeah..." he picked up a chip and chewed on it thoughtfully, then glanced over at his glass, which has been filled once again. He downed it, swayed ever so slightly and looked around. "W-where's tha' bloody git America? I-I'm gonna tell his bloody arse off t-tonight!"

South Korea ate a bit of the food, downing his scotch just as quickly. "Alfred ssi isn't here, d-da-ze~" He looked over at the bar lazily. A bottle stood out to him, he squinted and read the bottle. "A-absin... Absinthe? Green Fairy..." he looked over at England. "Is that gr-green stuff over there any good, da-ze?"He waved the bartender over and smiled.

"E-excuse me, but we'd like to have two Green Fairies, please," he said, laughing giddily. The bartender eyed him warily, but nodded and slid the drinks down the bar towards them.

"H-here Yong Soo!" Arthur hiccuped, handing a glass to Yong Soo. "If ya want real alcohol, this is th'stuff." He was already starting to slur words together.

"Aah, arasuh Arthurrssi..." He mumbled, taking the glass in his hand. He took a sip and almost spit the contents of the glass out. "W-Woahh, da-zehh.. 'S really strong, d-da-ze." The bartender peered over at them. "It's 73 percent alcohol guys, I don't suggest drinking more than 3 glasses." he stated. The two countries nodded at him drunkly, Yong Soo swaying a bit.

Arthur snorted and glanced over at the bartender. "Aw, you don't think I can handle t-this by myself, do yah? I-I was a bloody pirate once, I t-think I can handle this stuff." He gulped down the drink in one swig, then slammed his glass down on the counter. "A-alright Yong Soo, we're gettin' out o' here." He pulled Yong Soo out the door, tripping and stumbling as he went.

The dark haired boy blinked dazedly. "W-whaaa?" he said, stumbling behind the older Nation.

* * *

Wooh, hey guys! Kimchi here. :D And I just wrote this entire thing with my good Buddy Scone. This is the first chapter of our very cracky fic. So, please read and review~

OH HAI THAR. Scone here. :B We just wrote this awesome cracky insane little fic of doom. WOOO~ Please read and review! :D Oh, and watch for Chapter 2. Cause we be WRITIN' IT.

Ssi - Respectful Korean suffix.

Arasuh - Understood, okay, ect.

Fish and Chips - An english food, consisting of deep fried breaded white fish strips and potato fries. Korea misunderstands, in Asia Fish is generally grilled and chips are the american kind, as in thin crispy deep fried potato slices.

Absinthe - Some crazy ass Alcohol. Up to 75 percent alcohol content, and labeled "Green Fairy" due to the fact that it's green in color, and it causes hallucinations.

Korea's Ahoge - It's his Korean Spirit, and has a face. Its similar to Italy's ahoge.

Thanks guys, reviews are love!~

Yeah, love. :D


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